What is it like to be an empty nester? What does it mean to a parent?
Our nest has been empty for many years now but when it happened it was a very traumatic moment.
In one swift blow my happy home became empty and lonely. Our home was the home of twin boys. It was a home filled with the unexpected.
What would happen next? Which one would be next to have a broken heart and need some family consultation? Who would be the next one taking us to the emergency room?
Would we be attending a wedding? What lies ahead?
It all happened at the end of one summer. One boy left home to attend collage in Arizona leaving an empty space. No more Pinewood Derbies, no more wrestling team. Just an empty room filled only with silence.
We often paused as we passed his room and wondered what had happened? What was he doing now? Was he happy? Had we done something wrong? Did he miss us as much as we missed him?
In just a couple of months boy number 2 would tear at the heart string once more with news of his decision to leave, bound for the military. This one joined the Marine Corp. Another admirable choice, but a wider hole in the home structure and the heart.
For 18 plus years our home was the nest of a family who cared deeply for each other. A family who enjoyed life together and could not imagine life without any one of them.
In just a matter of months our lives were changed forever. Due to the natural phenomenon of child growth our close-nit home became an empty nest.
The effect was sometimes almost too much to bear. We would find ourselves walking around looking for something but not knowing what. Looking and knowing we would not find.
We would find ourselves discussing the past more often than before. Often wondering if we had done something different would the kids still leave.
Sometimes wondering what we did to drive them away, how could we rectify it and bring back harmony to our now empty nest.
We went through a time blaming ourselves for their leaving when in reality we knew it would have to happen sooner or later. It was not us, it was life.
Did we miss them? You bet! Do we still miss them? You bet. We have been Empty Nesters now for over 20 years and at times it still hurts.
Even now we can find ourselves stopping by the empty rooms and remembering things like B-B guns and broken light fixtures or model cars and glued carpets.
Yes, we are empty nesters, but is it really empty? No, the nest is still filled with the memories of a wonderful life. Memories I never want to forget. Memories that make an empty nest not so empty.